the case of the "what if's"

note to self:

i wonder what would have happened if you didn't break up with that first boy.  you were crying when you did it so why did you do it? you are long over it now but you know, what if?  what would happen if you married that second boy? you had considered it then but once again, you decided you wanted the relationship to end. you have started thinking more about that boy lately but again you are over it.  but you know, what if?  what if you had not attached so strongly to that third boy? would he had not been scared off? or was that inevitable? once again you are over it but you know, what if?  what if you wouldn't have taken your best friend dating your ex-boyfriend so personally? would you still have a best friend? or would something else had ruined that too? you're ok but you know, what if?  what if you would have had the courage to tell the boy that moved away freshman year in high school that you actually liked him?  would things right now be any different?  or would he have shut you down?  what if one of the boys that you are meeting now is your future husband?  would you be ok with not having a fairy-tale story? what if you died tomorrow? would you be ok with how your life went down? or would you have died with "what if" questions that kept you up at night?

i choose this picture because the wisest words of wisdom will tell you to not ask "what if" but to ask "what's next?"

you know, just a note to self.