UT shooting

note to self:

if you ever are going through something that doesn't look like it will ever get better, i promise you it will.  if someone ever teases you and tells you that you are worthless, i promise they are lying.  if you ever just feel like screaming, go ahead and let it out.  what you should not do is bring a gun and danger on campus and risk the lives of a lot of innocent people.  this is not a solution to any kind of problem. you should not do what the UT gunman did- not only to the students but also to his parents.  you should not make the family go through that.  what you should do though is pray.  you should pray for the Tooley family who are dealing with a loss, pray for those affected by today, and pray for those who will be haunted by this tomorrow.  

you know, just a note to self.

this is me

note to self:

being who you are is all you have to do to be happy.  does that make sense? you should know that you are happiest when you are with people who like the same things and do the same things as you.  but what is that? you are an eco-friendly, fun and loving woman.  you will never turn away someone to be a friend because you try not to just judge people from first glance.  you are obsessed with tie-dye and until you get a head ache you usually have some sort of accessory (headband, clip, barrette...) in your hair.  you are all about the vintage look and styling it up but you also like to blend into the crowd so being caught just wearing shorts and a regular t is not very unusual.  you don't alway show your whole self to people. even your own family who has known you for twenty years does not know every secret you hold.  you love camping and if someone will listen you will probably bore their ears off with all the camping adventures you had as a kid.  you are in love with any type of road trips- short or long.  you sometimes wish the people around you were more spontaneous and would decide to make the weekend an adventure but i guess it makes the adventures we do take even more special since they are all the more rare.  you are a Christian but you struggle with that sometimes.  you try to do the right thing and you try to glorify the lord but you are human and you stumble [more than you care to admit].  but when you remember that God is God, it makes you smile. and smiling makes you happy.  and as said above: being who you are is all you have to do to be happy.

you know, just a note to self.

letting go

note to self:

it's ok to let loose and just dance. it's ok to scream.  it's ok to not care.  it's ok to be free.  it's ok.

you know, just a note to self.

a new day

note to self:

no longer will you think of the phrase "back to school" of being said from a very sad person who just got shot.  you are now going to think of  "back to school" being sung by the cast of glee.  you have decided that you are going to make this year different.  you have decided that instead of being walked all over and pushed down that you will branch out and do your own thing.  you have done a lot of soul searching this past year and you literally have just had enough.  you have just put up with everything for a little too long and now, being the strong and new you, you are going to march to your own drum.  who should be allowed to look at your life and criticize it? and even more than that, what gives them the power to affect you?  no more. you are done. you are new.

you know, just a note to self.